I feel healed; I feel empowered and I am in awe of my beautiful little baby ~ (Harriet’s Birth)

I am no longer disillusioned that everything on my birth plan will happen if I think positively.  I am aware that it is best to be informed and educated about all options so that I can select the correct path with confidence if complications arise in labour.  I sense a strong desire to VBAC.  I want to have another chance at birthing vaginally.  I attend a VBAC class with Debra Wakefield of Empowered to Birth. I feel empowered and sense a confidence building.  I hire a TENS machine and practice breathing techniques and ways of letting my body know it is safe.

 I feel a sudden sensation that my whole body remembers.  It is potentially a contraction.  I try not to get too excited as perhaps it is just a one off.  It comes and then it goes.  I wonder will it return?  Will I be able to sleep, will I be too excited?  I get into bed and hope that I go into labour.  My eyes are heavy, I cannot keep them open, I fall asleep easily.  I awake to the pain.  It is 5am.  I am filled with excitement and jump out of bed, run to the kitchen to eat some Weet-bix.  I eat quickly and move into the shower, I stand under the water, I am filled with nerves and anticipation. 

I quickly attempt to wash my body, I am too excited to concentrate properly and decide to get out of the shower.  I whip my hair into two long, tight, ready for labour braids.  This is about to happen, and I am ready.  I go into the hospital; a nurse checks my dilation and informs me that I am 2 centimetres.  Tears fall from my eyes.  I feel overwhelmed at how easily my body reached 2 centimetres of dilation compared to last time.  The contractions come, they keep coming, I feel joy, manageable pain and joy, it feels right, I feel safe.

I use a TENS machine; I request to put on the album Lucent by Valli Maine through a speaker provided by the hospital. (link to sample)   I am calm, I feel supported, I stand at the side of the bed and squat into the contractions.  A midwife tells me the words, ‘‘When you feel the contraction, you are already through the strongest and most painful part.’’  I move into a new contraction, I breathe, and squat and I feel gratitude.  The doctor arrives and suggests it is time to break my waters.  I eagerly agree and the midwife and doctor place their hands on my stomach. I feel pressure. They move the baby as water gushes from my body.  The contractions get faster. I feel as if there is no break between each individual one.  I am asked if I need to push. I mention that I feel like I might.  My dilation is checked, and I am 10 centimetres.  Instant relief works its way from my head and rests in my chest.  My baby’s heart rate is dropping.  I am asked to lay down. I lay down. I am asked to push as I am informed the babies heart rate is a complication. 

‘‘I don’t know how to push!’’ I tell the midwives and doctor I never go to this stage last time I don’t know what I am doing.  They inform me as they perform an episiotomy with my permission and help with a vacuum assisted vaginal birth, and my beautiful baby emerges. I cry tears of joy! I am filled with happiness.  I say out loud “Is that it?’’ I am shocked that my baby is here. It didn’t take long, and it wasn’t anywhere near the pain levels of my previous labour. I sense that I feel healed.  I feel empowered and I am in awe of my beautiful little baby.

Without the encouragement of Deb, through the VBAC Masterclass  and previously attending the Positive Birth Program; along with the amazing midwives, and doctors at the hospital I would not have had the courage to attempt to VBAC.  I am so grateful to all who assisted the birth of our lucky little Harriet.